Crazy, Man

I know there is a mathematical equation hidden somewhere in here (and I'm also sure that if the husband saw it, he would love to explain it in detail to me - at midnight, of course,) but this is pretty neat for us right-brained folks!

MATH TRICK

1. GRAB A CALCULATOR. (YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THIS ONE IN YOUR HEAD)
2. KEY IN THE FIRST THREE DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER (NOT THE AREA CODE)
3. MULTIPLY BY 80
4. ADD 1
5. MULTIPLY BY 250
6. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER
7. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER AGAIN
8. SUBTRACT 250
9. DIVIDE NUMBER BY 2

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE ANSWER?

The coffee place on campus generally keeps in its case one cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. Now, I'm not a huge cheesecake fan (gasp!), so I usually overlook the daily offering.

But today...oh, today.

I saw not the chocolate I usually see, but one more of an orange shade. Could it be...

Yes! It's PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE TIME!

One of my favorite things of the fall season would be, yes, pumpkin cheesecake . If you've never tried it, you're missing out on one of life's greatest treasures.

With a dollop of fresh whipped cream...it's just almost too good to be true.

Pumpkin cheesecake, here I come (and again tomorrow, and the next day...)

Eeew!

Yesterday morning it was about 51 degrees (pretty chilly for native Texans in September.) As I pulled into the parking lot at work, I saw a student walking across campus in a sweatshirt, flip flops, and a...CSS (see earlier blog.)

And you could tell she was just oh-so-miserably cold, but putting up a good front. ("I am NOT cold. Because I look so hot in this skirt. It's not cold. It's not cold...")

Oh, the prices they pay for (what they think is) fashion...

...as I walked to my building, cozy in my long pants and long-sleeved shirt.

My Whistle is Whetted

Yes, I was impressed. Studio 60, ladies and gents, was a dang good premiere. Aside from Amanda Peet's occasional wide-eyed stare and small serial-killer halfsmile, it was quite entertaining. Looking forward to the upcoming season, oh yes. It should give Mondays a positive spin.

Pregnant Turkey Story

(Note: this is not my family, although it would have been really funny if it was!)

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Odd but Yummy

So I decided to eat a popsicle tonight, the long skinny ones in plastic, where you cut off the end to eat it, and then freeze your fingers off holding on to it. Yeah, those.

Well, they've been in the freezer a few months, which, since they're frozen, no prob.

I choose a green one. It passed through my mind why it wasn't quite "lime" green, but more of a "that's a color I'd like to paint my kitchen" green.

Anyways, it tasted suspiciously like grape, but it's easy to get popsicle flavors confused, you know? This time, though, the taste buds were correct. As I ate the popsicle, it started to turn purple. Just a hint at first, but by the end, solid purple.

Maybe it was a hyper-color popsicle.

Oh well. It was still good.

A bit crude, a bit rude, but...

I just can't help it. This has gone to far. I'll call it the "Crotch Shot Skirt" syndrome.

They're denim. And they are so short that if you take too big of s step, well, it lives up to it's title. On numerous occasions, I have had the unfortunate and simply vomitous view up the skirt. What's it called? Something about an animal...lives in the water...I'll leave that to you to figure out.

Not only are the CSSs too dang short when they are walking, but seriously, how do the wearers sit down? Don't their legs stick to the chair? Get sweaty? What if they had to sit on the floor? No graceful way about the up/down part there. Sexy? Um...well...no. Nope.

Even if you do have good legs, please, please, cover at least the top 10 inches or so. Not just for my sake, but for yours, too. To be nice. we just wait until your out of hearing range, and then we gasp, shake our heads and say "What would her mother think?"

Zzzz...

Back hurts. Pain killer. Sleepy time. Bye.

Trivia of the Day

I'll give you a cast, and you tell me the movie...

Donald Sutherland
David Arquette
Luke Perry
Paul Reubens
Rutger Hauer
Hilary Swank
(just to name a few)

Job # 2b

I L-O-V-E the new job. I think it and I will get along just fine. And I won't come home smelling like food anymore (as much as I loved to smell like chicken tenders and ranch dressing...)

Verdict: it's gonna rock

A Song

Oh, what a beautiful marnin',
Oh, what a beautiful day,
I've got a beautiful feelin',
I start my new job today!

A Bit Breathtaking

I woke up early this morning to a very rare and very loud thunderstorm. But what amazing results...

9-11 Tribute

As today is September 11, I would like to offer a tribute to Molly McKenzie, killed at the Pentagon on 9-11-2001. She lived in Dale City, Virginia, and was 38 years old. We miss you, Molly.

A Bit Odd

The Human Race Machine

There is only one race, the human race. The concept of race is not genetic but social.

The Human Race Machine is located in front of the Bookstore. The Human Race Machine is a part of the Grand Opening next week.

The Human Race Machine is a computer console that allows participants to see themselves as a different race.

How does it work? The computer captures your image while you sit in front of the machine and you can use up to four different programs to apply the changes you would like to see.

The Human Race Machine is sponsored by the Diversity Awareness.

Celebrating Diversity

...

I think red-tinted car windows should be illegal.

Just because they're ugly.

A Bit Depressing

I have learned something about myself in the past couple of months. It's a bit frustrating and disillusioning.

I am not the organized person I thought I was.

I actually have piles on my desk. And not just one. I have five. That's right, I said five. And then four more on the table across the room. And sticky notes all over my computer.

I don't know what's come over me - I used to be a little psyco about these things. Everything color-coordinated, a file or folder for all projects, one or two - maximum - stacks on my desk (divided by priority, of course...)

Maybe my office isn't fung-shui, and it's thrown me off-kilter.

Yes, that's it. It's gotta be, because I still have this person inside of me who cringes at the piles, and who still get's frazzled when I don't use the "right" color of highlighter. And the fact that I'm even writing this should prove it, right?

(Didn't someone in the past call me anal-retentive? Maybe they were right...)

Bangers n' Mash

Sense of smell is my strongest memory trigger. I keep getting strong waves of nostalgia for Oxford, England. Sadly enough, I think it's mainly the diesel fumes and cigarette smoke that are constantly floating around campus. But it's also the (almost) chill in the air, the unexpected week of clouds and rain, the faint smell of cologne...everything is adding up and whispering in my ear...

"Come back to Oxford! Relax with a cup of Earl Grey, enjoy a pint at the pub tonight. Take a walk through the park, smell the flowers, stronger now because of the afternoon rain...please come back and see me!"

Boy, oh boy, do I wish I could...

Ironic, Don't You Think?

This didn't quite live up to it's name...sad for poor little Urvivor.

Sad

Steve Erwin - we'll miss you! See you later, alligator...

Downpour

My Happy Meal Pirate Skull Head 8-Ball said it was going to rain today (actually, it said "Aye, matey.") The eyeball was correct.

Good Tunes

The new Bob Dylan CD, Modern Times - F A N T A S T I C ! ! !
(But I could only find it at Starbucks...)

I Got Lucky Tonight

Not only did I get another Calculus lesson from the Husband tonight, we added in Physics as well. I took a picture so you could learn, too! (Note the time...)

Not So Hot

Being honest with myself (we have to do that occasionally, right?), I don't think I've ever seen a pair of denim jean shorts that look good on a man. Nope. Never. Unless you're five.

I know math, but geez louise!

Commercial:

(Junior-high class, touring an aquarium)

Marine Guy: "We feed our fish 13 and a half pounds of food a day. Who can tell me how much they eat in a week?"

Girl Student: (in less than 2 seconds) "Ninety-four and a half pounds."

Narrator: "That's what we do at the Sylvan Learning Center... "

Okay, I know my basic mathematics, and I sure couldn't do this off the top of my head...in less than two seconds...without a calculator...

Show off.

My Hip Hurts

I don't get it... how come getting a shot of painkillers hurts so badly? Shouldn't they work immediately, so you wouldn't even feel the needle?

sigh...

Overload

three months with no caffeine + one whole (small) cup of espresso = not very good results

(although the gift of freshly brewed Italian espresso was wonderful - thank you for inviting me to join you!)

The Lonely Shoe

There's been something that's been bothering me for quite some time. I mean, I'm pretty upset. Why are there always lone shoes on the side of the street? Not a pair, just one. I mean, how do you lose one shoe? Are they just tossed out? Do they bounce out of a truck bed? Do people choose a favorite and abandon the other?

Do you think, “You know, I believe I did toss my shoe out the window last week. Hmm…was that on 6th Avenue or Main Street?”

There are probably shoes all over the world crying, because they've lost their other half.

I just don't get it.

Poor little lonely shoe.

Artsy-Fartsy

I'm about to leave for a class for "glass fusing." You start with a clear flat piece of glass. Then you start layering colored glass into the design you like. Once that is finished, they melt it in the kiln until the glass "fuses" together" and they pull it out and mold it into the shape you like (bowls, platters, etc.) How cool does that sound? I'll post a picture of my oh-so-fabulous creation when it's finished.

Ode to My Mexican Pizza

Oh, Mexican Pizza, how scrumptious you are.
How cheesy and spicy and crunchy you are.
I wish I could eat you twice every day
(but my thighs, oh, the price they would pay.)

Every now and then, though,
when the mood is just right,
I sit down and sigh,
and take a big bite.

The best part, you know,
you don't want to miss,
They come at the end.
They're called Cinnamon twists.

Oh, Mexican Pizza, how scrumptious you are...

I Must Be Famous

I can't believe I have almost 4000 hits on my blog! (although I won't take a guess as to how many are mine...) If we go with the daily average of 13-15 hits, I should hit 4000 by tomorrow! That's helli-cool (to be said in a high-pitched voice - where is this from?)

I love this bit...

He sort of mumbled, "Yeah, I guess that isn't the best place to talk. Want to go across the street?"

Yes! Yes! Let's go there again, Murray's, that dump with the rotten food, where everybody looks like a corpse and the coffee tastes like antifreeze! Let's sit across from eachother in a cracked booth by the smudged window in the livid light, like we did last week, and talk and talk and talk!

"Yeah, okay," I mumbled back. "If you want to."

~The Saving Graces, by Patricia Gaffney

1...3...5

I've decided that I like odd numbers more than even. Except 17. I don't like the number 17.

This Deserves a Post of It's Own

The Best Part...

See this little unassuming box on the wall?



















Behold, the tresure...



















In our room...on the wall...all-inclusive. Oh yeah.

(Don't worry, Mother - I can't drink liquor straight. I just went down to the bar for a margarita. But such a novel idea, this box. Don't you think?)

We're Back!

And finally, we return (thanks to the fam who posted quotes for me!) A rather short vacation as vacations go, but absolutely wonderful! Here are a few pics...

Our hotel - this pic is where we spent the most time (Riu Caribe - really nice!)















The Ocean (yes, the water really is that color!)















Ocean...again...sigh















We had a happy face floating around our heads all day, every day (and not just from the Corona and Bananas Sexies!)















Funny sign at Margaritaville















I hate to say it, but we gained a bit of weight while we were there...(but don't you think pink is my color??

Quotes for the day

~Be kind to unkind people. It gets to them.

~Whenever someone has done something nice for you, write a thank you note.

~Compliment people as soon as it occurs to you.

~Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

~Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

~Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.

I think the nicest thing about days is their unexpectedness. It's jolly to wake up like this on a golden fine morning and day-dream for 10 minutes before I get up, imagining the heaps of splendid things that may happen that day. ~ Rilla of Ingleside

Happiness is...

"Happiness is a bear hug in the Colorado Rockies"

~ My Grandmother

I'm never going to Wal-Mart again.

Lessons Learned

As I was thinking back on my adolescent and teenage years this morning, I remembered one lesson I learned (the hard way) . . . never use fingernail polish as lipstick.

They're All Mine

I just found something amazing. So unexpected and wonderful, it just brightens up my whole evening. I found...a lone unopened box of Girl Scout cookies in the pantry. What more could a girl ask for?

Booger Diaperjuice

This is serious stuff here.

The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain
Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave
Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names, as
follows:

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a=poopsie
b=lumpy
c=buttercup
d=gidget
e=crusty
f=greasy
g=fluffy
h=cheeseball
i=chim-chim
j=stinky
k=flunky
l=booger
m=pinky
n=zippy
o=goober
p=doofus
q=slimy
r=loopy
s=snotty
t=tulefel
u=dorkey
v=squeezit
w=oprah
x=skipper
y=dinky
z=zsa-zsa.

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
your new last name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of
your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

What is your new name?

Three Times the Fun

So I went to the vending machine today to get a Butterfinger (yeah, yeah, I know. I go with what my body feels like. But if it makes a difference, my body was saying half a bagel and fruit for lunch, so it kind of balances out...)

Anyway, as I put my 85 cents into the machine, I noticed a bag of Sun Chips hanging precariously from the top corner. So I just nudged the machine a tiny bit, and whoops! they fell down (Plucky go down the hole). I then pressed D5, and not only did I get my Butterfinger, I got TWO!

So for 85 cents, I got two buttery crunchity candy bars and a bag of healthy (sure) chips.

Sad, though, that it was the highlight of my day...

And I gained a pound. Stupid vending machine...

Early Musings

How is it that when I get up late, it never fails that I'm ready to leave earlier than the usual?

I don't get it.

I guess I'll get an early start to the day.

Yuck.

???

Daley's Ready to Drink Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri - Freeze and Enjoy!

On the back:
Enjoy at home or on the go.

On the front:
ALCOHOL is in it!

Hmmm.

Vacation # 1

Cinnamon roll for breakfast.
Brother married this afternoon.
Swam in the sun after that.
Cream cheese bacon-wrapped jalepenos on the horizon...
This sure does live up to the name of my blog.
Mmm hmm...

The Whale

If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.
A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her .. a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.
They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.
When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed gently around - she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.
The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.
May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate..... to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

Miss You, Babe

I see the moon, the moon sees me
God bless the moon and God bless me
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love

Over the mountains, over the seas
That's where my heart is longing to be
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love

Barf

Gotta love the white wife-beater with the turquoise sports bra underneath. I just LOVE the "new" 80's style that's coming back in. *rolls eyes*

I Sure Did...

have Ding Dongs for breakfast. They sounded good. So sue me.

How Do They Know These Things?

Overheard at Clay place:

12-year-old girl: "Walker just beats people up."

10-year-old girl: "What's the difference between Walker and McGuyver?"

12-year-old girl: "Well, McGuyver uses his head. Oh, and Walker is older."

So Tired

My dear sweet little kitty has started clawing at the carpet outside our bedroom door every morning at 5:30 a.m. Any suggestions?

I Don't Love You Much Do I, by Guy Clark

I don’t love you much do I
Just more than human tongue can tell and that's all
I don’t love you much do I
Remember how I kissed you in the hall

See how it sparkles in my eyes
I couldn’t hide it if I tried- that’s right
I don’t love you much do I
Just more than anything else in this whole world
I don’t love you much do I
Just more than all the stars in the sky
I don’t love you much do I
I think you hung the moon and that’s alright

I don’t love you much do I
You can feel it all the way across the room
I don’t love you much do I
Like the spring doesn’t make the flowers bloom
I don’t love you much do I
I'd follow you to hell and back again
I don’t love you much do I
Just watch me light up when you walk in

I don't love you much do I
Just more than anything else in this whole world

I don't love you much do I

Dang

I accidentally bought waterproof mascara the other day. Now it won't come off.

The Heat Wave Spoon ("It's too hot to spoon.")

1. Both spooners (there is no spoonee) lie very still on their backs on their own sides of the bed. Note: This is the ONLY time we'll advocate for you to stay on separate sides of the bed.

2. Slowly, so as to not exert yourself in the overwhelming heat, inch the hand that is closest to your partner even closer.

3. When your hands touch, stop.

4. Take your pinkie and intertwine it with your partner's.

Now your pinkies are spooning.

Funny Funny from RD

"Does anyone in this room need to be dismissed from jury duty?" my father, a judge, asked a roomful of prospective jurors.
A nervous young man stood up. "I'd like to be dismissed," he said.
"And why is that?"
"My wife is about to conceive."
Slightly taken aback, Dad responded, "I believe, sir, you mean 'deliver.' But either way, I agree. You should be there."

The Husband & Annabelle

I think she likes him...

Aarrrrgggg!

I got THE COOLEST toy in my Happy Meal yesterday (yes, I still eat Happy Meals.)
I pulled out the bag and saw a plastic skull with a pirate hat and an eye patch.

Whoop-ti-do, right?

But wait - the directions said to ask a yes or no question, and then lift up the eye patch to find your answer. It turns out it's a skeleton-eyeball MAGIC EIGHT BALL!

I mean, how cool is it to find all of life's answers in the eye socket of a dead pirate?

Exhausted

I dreamed in mosaic last night.

Artsy-Fartsy

I mosaiced last night for two-and-a-half hours.

And I mosaiced today for five hours.

And I have a cut on my thumb from the glass (It bled. Ouch.)

I'll have to post a picture of the final product when I'm all done.

Is "mosaiced" even a word?

Zzzzzzz....

So last night around 11:45 pm, I was laying in bed, doing a Sudoku puzzle (yeah, yeah, I know, I couldn't sleep) when the husband comes in.

Husband: "Hey, you want to see something interesting?"
Me: "No, not really."
Husband: "No, no, it won't take that long."
Me : "Fine, what do you want to show me?"

And from there he proceeds to teach me Calculus. Yes, I said Calculus. Being the good little wifey I am, I actually listened (no comprehension, though) for about 15 minutes.

And then I fell right asleep. He should talk to me about Calculus every night; then maybe I wouldn't have problems sleeping.

NOTE: I am glad, though, that he's enthusiastic about the subject, as that plays a rather large part in his degree...

Oh, yeah

So there are these cookies. They bake them fresh at the TTU Starbucks. And they're not just any cookies. Yes, we do have chocolate chips, but that's just getting started. We then have milk chocolate chunks and dark chocoalte chunks. But to top it off, they threw on Hershey Kisses. And no matter when you get one, the chocolate is always gooey and soft.

What? What is that sound? Is that angels I hear singing?

And another...

One more, from the husband:

"The wifey is always righty."

He's a smart little cookie, too (hee hee)

Well Spoken

A quote from my dear friend, Jaime:

"Some things we can let go, but unfinished margaritas are not one of them."

She's a smart little cookie.

love love

Hilarious!

Check it out - Fo' shizzle

My Gangsta Blog

Quote

"I don't care about any fashion enough to give up food."

~The truly amazing Rachael Ray

The Good, The Bad, and the Chocolate

So I'm at work this morning (and yes, I said work, and yes, it's Sunday, and yes, I got here at 8:30 am, and yes, I mean work #1.) So much to do, so little time...

But (hey, at least there's a but), I'm eating what appears to be a regular ol' chocolate donut. But this is a deceiving little sucker. It's actually a chocolate-iced cinnamon roll! How awesome is that??

On my way to work this morning, I drove past the church with the funny signs (you know, the "Fa Shizzle" and "!Hola".) It now says "DUDE!"

By the way, it's National Ice Cream Day. Rock on.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

I saw on old man driving down the street yesterday on a Harley, wearing a karate suit. I bet when he was four he wanted to be a "karate man" and ride a motorcycle when he grew up.

Names That Go With Jobs

The director of the Kinsey Sex Institute (Indiana University) - her name is Julia Heimen.

It's Here

It's finally here, the day I've been waiting for. Let out your inner-spirit. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Ladies and gents...

It's National Embrace Your Geekness Day.

Tubular, dude.

Mmmm

Today is National Pecan Pie Day!
(peeee-can pieeeeee. Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Name that flick...)

...

It's almost
a
sixth sense,
the way
I think
of you.
Someone can
laugh
or say something
you would say,
and, suddenly,
you're in
my thoughts
again.
I like that.
It means
you can
make me
smile
even when
you're far
away.

~B. Burns

Witnessing a Gracious Moment

I was standing near the back of the line at good ol’ Wal-Mart yesterday, and there was a family in the next line. They had a little girl, probably 4 years old, with a huge smile and very dirty hands, eating a bag of Funyuns.

She walked up to the lady in line behind me and offered her a chip. The lady smiled and said “thank you,” but didn’t take the chip. The girl stood there, holding out the Funyun, and her mom just looks at the lady and says "She loves to share,” with a look that said she expected this lady to take it! So she graciously and very kindly took the Funyun from the little girl, who was tickled pink to share.

As she secretly hid the chip in her hand, I couldn’t help but wonder what I would have done had the little girl offered one to me (even though I just love Funyuns!) I know (and regret) the look on my face when the mom “suggested” the lady take the chip. I admire this lady’s grace and child-lovingness to ignore grubby “I’ve been running around Wal-Mart and touching everything” child fingers to see the Funyun for what it was - a gift.

Crazy

I've read that today is "National Teddy Bear Picnic Day." Huh? Are we five years old?

"La la la, I'm going on a picnic with Mr. Snuffles today. Isn't life grand?"

Whatever you do, just don't step on a bee.

Decision

I have an apple sitting on my desk, looking at me with puppy dog eyes, and yet I'm eating chocolate chip cookies.

Hmmm...

But wait - it's National Chocolate Day!

Tomorrow, little apple, I'll eat you tomorrow.

Kick-Ass Things About Today

(It's Friday, so I can say the word "ass." Kind of like Weekend Beer Time - anytime is a good time for a Shiner, as long as it's Saturday.)

1. We'll start off with the basics: It's Friday.

2. I have reached an important milestone in my life: I have over 2000 hits on my blogger, from all over the world at that!

3. It's the M-I-L's birthday today, and she's coming for a visit (maybe not "kick-ass," but generally interesting...)

4. I've saved the very best for last: It's National Chocolate Day. A day where you can eat, no, are encouraged to eat all the chocolate you want. Can it get any better than that??? (Note: to those of you who don't like chocolate...WTF?)

Companionship

Every morning on my way to work, I pass a man walking his dog. Nothing new. But the thing is, this man, probably in his upper 50’s, is about 6’ 4” tall. The dog he walks is a miniature Chihuahua, about the size of his foot. She’s light tan with this peppy little tail that just bobs along.

I bet this man rolls his eyes every morning while hooking the leash onto her collar. I bet he says to his wife every morning, “I can’t believe I have to walk this thing every day – it’s your dog.”

But I bet, as he’s strolling along with this puppy, he secretly enjoys it. I have never seen a dog happier than she on her morning walks. And I bet he’s smiling inside, because his little dog loves him.

SOAPBOX

I don't understand what the world is coming to when there are more cigarette receptacles than trash cans on campus. I actually have to search for a trash can, and yet everywhere I turn, there is a cigarette receptacle. And they are all right outside the building doors, so you have to walk through a cloud of smoke to get inside (while carrying that trash you couldn't throw away since there is no trash can within 500 yards...)

Stepping down...cough cough.

Ouch

Last night something terrible and excruciatingly painful happened to me. I got jalepeno oil up my nose. No joke. I was de-seeding them, and had an itch, so I rubbed the back of my hand against my nose. Holy jalepeno juice, it hurt. So I wash my hands and try to wipe it out with a paper towel. This just pushed it further up into my nasal cavity. I tell you what, it hurt 10 times worse than getting it in my eye.

So I go sniffling and hollering to the husband, who has this ingenious idea. When he headed into the garage, I got a little suspicious. Then he brought in his "I work on cars and get so dirty that I have to use this hand de-greaser to clean up" gunk. And told me to put it up my nose. "You have oil up your nose, and soap and water won't get it out. This is the only thing that will work," he says. So after trying every other option I could think of, hemming and hawing, I did it. I stuck car de-greaser up my nose. It smelled like car de-greaser. After two doses of this, and then warm soap and water, it started to cool down a bit. Relief, finally. As gross as it was, it worked.

I have a smart husband (a little unconventional, but smart.)

:(

Happy "We Have To Go Back To Work Today and It Really Really Stinks" Day.

Poop.

Another favorite Patty Griffin quote:

...but I need a little place in the sun sometimes or I think I will die...

Amen, sistuh!

?

I had Chili Cheese Fritos for breakfast. Is that bad?

Drip...Drip...Drip

So we have a leak...yes, another one. That would be 3, count 'em t-h-r-e-e, since we've moved in. Our new carpet is really getting a workout. This time it's the washing machine plumbing in the walls. We have a fine and dandy plumber coming out tomorrow to take a look.

Bad news: in order to access the behind-the-wall shower leak, he has to bust through the dry wall.

Good news: our insurance covers dry wall repairs for points of entry! (We've been putting off fixing that water-damaged wall for a few reasons...it'll just get wet again, we both have to work, we're lazy...so now it will be taken care of!)

Bad news: I'll have to ask off for work to meet the plumber...we'll see how that one goes. Don't you hate using vacation days to deal with those dang plumbing issues?

Horrified

There, Mother. I've taken out the (horrendous, awful, makes me want to barf because I can't believe I left them on my front porch for seven months) fake flowers, and planted new. Real ones. Alive. Growing. Thriving. Morning Glories. love, love

















And yes, that is half a whiskey barrel on my porch. So sue me - it was there, and it was free.

Milestone

I can't believe it - I actually have my very first international reader!!! Check my Clustr Map - I'm guessing England? Woo hoo!

Man, Oh Man

Well, we had an exciting little doozy of a time last night! What a thunderstorm! So, Lubbock made the news with our humongous dust storm and 70 mph winds that came along with the storm. As a result, here's what we came home to yesterday evening:














Our next door neighbor, Adelle, was very gracious about our tree taking up her whole entire yard. I think we were all just thankful that it decided to fall in the yard and not on the roof!

Movin' Up

You are now looking at an Official (that's right, I said Official) member of the Mutts Fan Club! What a great birthday present!!!

26...27...28...29...AHHH!

Since when have I been closer to 30 than 20??? Like ice water in the face when you think about it that way, huh?

Happy birthday to me...(sigh)

Yes, This IS Connie Chung

You're just gonna have to watch it for yourselves...I have no words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcozKfpbmaA

Save Screech!

So as all of you know (or at least, those who know me well), I am a HUGE Saved By the Bell fan. Huge. So now that one of my best childhood friends is in trouble, I'm asking for your help.
Please, help Screech. He needs you.

http://www.getdshirts.com/

I Think He's Got Something Here...

SMILE!

Today is National Smile Power day! Now that's my kinda day...









(smile, little piggy!)

My New Favorite Song

In the misty moonlight
by the flickering firelight
any place is alright
long as I'm with you

In a far-away land
on the tropic sea sand
if you hand's in my hand
I won't be blue

Way up on the mountain
or way down in the valley
I know I'll be happy
anyplace, anywhere, I don't care

In the misty moonlight
by the flickering firelight
any place is alright
long as you are there

I could be happy in one little room with only a table and chair. As happy as I'd be in a kingdom by the sea, darling, if you were there.
And I could be rich or I could be poor...but if you were by my side, I could be any place in this whole wide world and I know I'd be satisfied.

Way up on the mountain
or way down in the valley
I know I'll be happy
anyplace, anywhere, I don't care

by Jerry Wallace

1+2=3

Which has more caffeine - one small cuppa joe, or 32 oz of Mountain Dew?

Now one might reasonably deduce that it would be the MD. I mean, 32 oz is A LOT of caffeine.
I hate to admit it, but I generally drink this every morning, my only caffeine of the day.

But this morning, I decided to go for coffee. I mean, I was TIRED. One mug, and I'm wired. (Hey, I'm a poet and didn't know it.) Totally awake. Typing really fast. I just don't get it.

32 oz vs. 8 oz. Do the math.

I guess I just need to become a chemist and do the chemistry, huh? Then maybe it would make sense.

Goo

You know it's hot in your office when you open up the chocolate bar (who has been seductively calling my name all day) and it's melted.

Melts on your desk, not in your hands...

Oh, well, chocolate is chocolate, right?

Good Thing I Had Dental Floss!

The other day I ate a strawberry that took me eleven (that's 11...E-L-E-V-E-N) bites to get through. I tell you what, it was bigger 'n Christy!

It's Coming...

Coming this June. It's real, it's awesome, and I can't wait!

http://www.MeowMixHouse.com

And they have a 24/7 MeowMix cam.

Can't get better than that.

My Sweeties

Annabelle LOVES to play outside (but she is still sleeping, and spending most of her time, inside - don't worry, Mother)




And here is a picture of her alter-ego, Psycho Kitty-of-the-Night





Oh, and Murphy says hi.



Peace.

If ever there were a day to celebrate...

It's National Chocolate Ice Cream Day!

So grab that spoon and go for it - you deserve it!

Fresh Air Rocks!

Today is National World Environment Day, so...go hug a tree or something.

X2

Tomorrow is National Repeat Day.
Tomorrow is National Repeat Day.

Go out and celebrate!
Go out and celebrate!

Woo hoo!
Woo hoo!