Booger Diaperjuice

This is serious stuff here.

The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain
Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave
Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names, as
follows:

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a=poopsie
b=lumpy
c=buttercup
d=gidget
e=crusty
f=greasy
g=fluffy
h=cheeseball
i=chim-chim
j=stinky
k=flunky
l=booger
m=pinky
n=zippy
o=goober
p=doofus
q=slimy
r=loopy
s=snotty
t=tulefel
u=dorkey
v=squeezit
w=oprah
x=skipper
y=dinky
z=zsa-zsa.

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
your new last name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of
your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

What is your new name?