Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Humor from RD...

By TSgt. John M. Milano

Upon completing Air Force technical school, I had to drive from the Gulf Coast to the Pacific Northwest for my next assignment. A friend suggested I hang my blue dress uniform in the left-rear window to generate good will from the highway patrol. When I was pulled over by a Wyoming state trooper, I was sure that I was off the hook because he told me that he, too, had been in the Air Force.

But he handed me a ticket anyway. It read: "Right-rear taillight burned out/License plate not properly illuminated" and, in the remarks section, "Lint on sleeve/Name tag uneven/Collar brass tarnished." He had once been a drill instructor.

And a side quote from Drew Barrymore...
"I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life than be worried all the time."

P.S. That first part wasn't Drew. Maggie just felt like she had something important to say. How rude, interrupting like that. I need to teach her that if she has something to say, she needs to wait her turn before walking over the keyboard.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Pick Me!

And the latest thing I've happened's the new rage.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

La La Grr

Dear Mr. Songbird who sang outside my window at 5:30 this morning,

You do have a beautiful and cheerful voice, but could we at least wait until the sun is up to be so dang chipper?

Now I'm all about gun control, but the guy across the alley is not. So please be careful. Oh, and please tell your friend the dog that if he keeps barking at 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 am, we're going to have a serious issue on our hands.


Your very-sleepy-and-not-so-much-the-morning-person-she-used-to-be neighbor

P.S. Do you take requests?

Monday, February 19, 2007


Britney shaved her head.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Radio Interview

Kim Mathers flipped the tables on Eminem and cleaned out her closet live on the air for all to hear.

"I can't stand him. He's an absolutely horrible person, and he gets worse every day," Mathers said. "I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name. There's nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all."

Oh, the drama.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


I think I just threw up a little bit in the back of my mouth...

In a study commissioned by the Clorox Co., they found that the average office desktop has 400 times more bacteria than the average office toilet seat.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Wow, has it really been four days?

I plead insanity...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I've Been Preoccupied


Because IT'S MAGGIE DAY!!!

Woo hoo!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Real Celebrity Names

Kirstie Alley's real name is Gladys Leeman

Lauren Bacall's real name is Betty Joan Perske

Kim Cattrall's real name is Clare Woodgate

I tell you what, you dont' even want to know my real name.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Advice Needed

We've had a problem at work lately with customers not flushing the toilet. And it drives me batties. So I decided I would take artistic control put up a little reminder sign (mwwaahh haa haa!)

So here are a few little diddies I (and sister) have come up with. I need your help to either vote for your favorite, or, if you have any suggestions, to pass them along...

Here we go:

Flush the toilet when you’re done
Or we’ll shoot you with a gun
Even when you’re in a rush
Please do not forget to flush
If you do not flush the pisser
Then I’ll punch you in the kisser
We’ll make sure you cease to be
If you do not flush your pee
Be polite and flush the john
‘Cause when you don’t it’s just plain wrong
Don’t forget to flush the john
Or we’ll take away your bong
Flush the toilet, we propose
So you won’t offend our nose

Friday, February 02, 2007

Air Freshener, Anyone?

We had a big party last night at work, and I was the designated "Pick up the 10 dozen garlic breadsticks from Fazolis, which just happens to be one of my favorite breadstick places ever" girl.

I tell you what, the drive from there to work was torture, they smelled so good. But now I think my car will smell good this morning, this evening, tomorrow, Sunday...

Sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.