Ouch

Last night something terrible and excruciatingly painful happened to me. I got jalepeno oil up my nose. No joke. I was de-seeding them, and had an itch, so I rubbed the back of my hand against my nose. Holy jalepeno juice, it hurt. So I wash my hands and try to wipe it out with a paper towel. This just pushed it further up into my nasal cavity. I tell you what, it hurt 10 times worse than getting it in my eye.

So I go sniffling and hollering to the husband, who has this ingenious idea. When he headed into the garage, I got a little suspicious. Then he brought in his "I work on cars and get so dirty that I have to use this hand de-greaser to clean up" gunk. And told me to put it up my nose. "You have oil up your nose, and soap and water won't get it out. This is the only thing that will work," he says. So after trying every other option I could think of, hemming and hawing, I did it. I stuck car de-greaser up my nose. It smelled like car de-greaser. After two doses of this, and then warm soap and water, it started to cool down a bit. Relief, finally. As gross as it was, it worked.

I have a smart husband (a little unconventional, but smart.)

:(

Happy "We Have To Go Back To Work Today and It Really Really Stinks" Day.

Poop.

Another favorite Patty Griffin quote:

...but I need a little place in the sun sometimes or I think I will die...

Amen, sistuh!

?

I had Chili Cheese Fritos for breakfast. Is that bad?

Drip...Drip...Drip

So we have a leak...yes, another one. That would be 3, count 'em t-h-r-e-e, since we've moved in. Our new carpet is really getting a workout. This time it's the washing machine plumbing in the walls. We have a fine and dandy plumber coming out tomorrow to take a look.

Bad news: in order to access the behind-the-wall shower leak, he has to bust through the dry wall.

Good news: our insurance covers dry wall repairs for points of entry! (We've been putting off fixing that water-damaged wall for a few reasons...it'll just get wet again, we both have to work, we're lazy...so now it will be taken care of!)

Bad news: I'll have to ask off for work to meet the plumber...we'll see how that one goes. Don't you hate using vacation days to deal with those dang plumbing issues?

Horrified

There, Mother. I've taken out the (horrendous, awful, makes me want to barf because I can't believe I left them on my front porch for seven months) fake flowers, and planted new. Real ones. Alive. Growing. Thriving. Morning Glories. love, love

















And yes, that is half a whiskey barrel on my porch. So sue me - it was there, and it was free.

Milestone

I can't believe it - I actually have my very first international reader!!! Check my Clustr Map - I'm guessing England? Woo hoo!

Man, Oh Man

Well, we had an exciting little doozy of a time last night! What a thunderstorm! So, Lubbock made the news with our humongous dust storm and 70 mph winds that came along with the storm. As a result, here's what we came home to yesterday evening:














Our next door neighbor, Adelle, was very gracious about our tree taking up her whole entire yard. I think we were all just thankful that it decided to fall in the yard and not on the roof!

Movin' Up

You are now looking at an Official (that's right, I said Official) member of the Mutts Fan Club! What a great birthday present!!!

26...27...28...29...AHHH!

Since when have I been closer to 30 than 20??? Like ice water in the face when you think about it that way, huh?

Happy birthday to me...(sigh)

Yes, This IS Connie Chung

You're just gonna have to watch it for yourselves...I have no words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcozKfpbmaA

Save Screech!

So as all of you know (or at least, those who know me well), I am a HUGE Saved By the Bell fan. Huge. So now that one of my best childhood friends is in trouble, I'm asking for your help.
Please, help Screech. He needs you.

http://www.getdshirts.com/

I Think He's Got Something Here...

SMILE!

Today is National Smile Power day! Now that's my kinda day...









(smile, little piggy!)

My New Favorite Song

In the misty moonlight
by the flickering firelight
any place is alright
long as I'm with you

In a far-away land
on the tropic sea sand
if you hand's in my hand
I won't be blue

Way up on the mountain
or way down in the valley
I know I'll be happy
anyplace, anywhere, I don't care

In the misty moonlight
by the flickering firelight
any place is alright
long as you are there

I could be happy in one little room with only a table and chair. As happy as I'd be in a kingdom by the sea, darling, if you were there.
And I could be rich or I could be poor...but if you were by my side, I could be any place in this whole wide world and I know I'd be satisfied.

Way up on the mountain
or way down in the valley
I know I'll be happy
anyplace, anywhere, I don't care

by Jerry Wallace

1+2=3

Which has more caffeine - one small cuppa joe, or 32 oz of Mountain Dew?

Now one might reasonably deduce that it would be the MD. I mean, 32 oz is A LOT of caffeine.
I hate to admit it, but I generally drink this every morning, my only caffeine of the day.

But this morning, I decided to go for coffee. I mean, I was TIRED. One mug, and I'm wired. (Hey, I'm a poet and didn't know it.) Totally awake. Typing really fast. I just don't get it.

32 oz vs. 8 oz. Do the math.

I guess I just need to become a chemist and do the chemistry, huh? Then maybe it would make sense.

Goo

You know it's hot in your office when you open up the chocolate bar (who has been seductively calling my name all day) and it's melted.

Melts on your desk, not in your hands...

Oh, well, chocolate is chocolate, right?

Good Thing I Had Dental Floss!

The other day I ate a strawberry that took me eleven (that's 11...E-L-E-V-E-N) bites to get through. I tell you what, it was bigger 'n Christy!

It's Coming...

Coming this June. It's real, it's awesome, and I can't wait!

http://www.MeowMixHouse.com

And they have a 24/7 MeowMix cam.

Can't get better than that.

My Sweeties

Annabelle LOVES to play outside (but she is still sleeping, and spending most of her time, inside - don't worry, Mother)




And here is a picture of her alter-ego, Psycho Kitty-of-the-Night





Oh, and Murphy says hi.



Peace.

If ever there were a day to celebrate...

It's National Chocolate Ice Cream Day!

So grab that spoon and go for it - you deserve it!

Fresh Air Rocks!

Today is National World Environment Day, so...go hug a tree or something.

X2

Tomorrow is National Repeat Day.
Tomorrow is National Repeat Day.

Go out and celebrate!
Go out and celebrate!

Woo hoo!
Woo hoo!

Meow

Here is my little spitfire, Annabelle Clementine...

This is how I feel some days...

Oh, The Joys of Last-Minute-Late-Night-Weekend-Travel

The plan was for us to drive home from Fredericksburg late last night, and for me to sleep the whole way (as I had to be at work this morning at 8 am.) So much for our crazy plans, man.

We encountered the worst lightening/torrential downpour of a storm we have ever seen. I have never been around such awful lightening, and you couldn't even see three feet in front of the car because of the rain. It was like having a strobe light in the car with us - rather disorienting. And I've driven in some bad weather, believe you me.

So. No sleep in the car. And as tired as I was, no sleep when my head hit the pillow. Hello, 3:45 am. How nice to see you (again.)

Sigh...

Question of the Day

Could lack of sleep be considered a medical condition?
Yes?
Then can I go home?

Request

Will someone please take out my stomach, fix it, and then put it back in, good as new?
One request, though - can I have some of those heavy narcotics they give you first?

Perfect...

The New Texas Slogan

Buckle up...in your truck.

Does this mean if I don't drive a truck, I don't have to buckle up?

Just because it rhymes, doesn't mean you have to use it as a state slogan.

Sizzlin'

They say it's supposed to be 101 degrees today. WTF, mate?

I'M STARVING!!!

A New Addition

I got a 6-week old kitten on Friday (thanks, Daily Kitten, for the peer pressure!)
Her name is Anabelle Clementine Dalzell, orange and fuzzy and LOUD! If I leave her alone in the room, she starts meowing like a siren, louder and louder, and won't stop until she finds me or I go get her. Kind of annoying, but pretty cute. I think she's a keeper.

Who Wants a Jelly Bean!

I came to work today to find a WHOLE BAG of Jelly Belly jelly beans in my mailbox! What a treaty!

This Little Piggy...

Today is National No Sock Day.

So free those little tootsies!
A breath of fresh air will do 'em good.

One of my favorite quotes, in honor of this blessed holiday:

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet, and the winds long to play with your hair.

My Kind of Humor

Bad Melissa!

I feel awful - I haven't posted since Monday! So here's a big long post for ya':


P..................O......................S.....................T


Peace.

Simple Life Lessons

Alright, everyone, let's get started. Today we're going to review those tricky little Common Courtesy phrases "some people" seemed to have forgotten.

Ready? Repeat after me:

"Good morning to you, too."

"See you after lunch."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

"You have a good weekend as well."

And the most basic of all:

"Hi."

"Goodbye."

And there, folks, is our Common Courtesy lesson of the day.

Cheers.

So today is:

National Tell a Story Day
National Prime Rib Day
National Babe Ruth Day

Once upon a time, I went to dinner with the hubby and we had a marvelous dinner of prime rib. You’ll never guess what we had for dessert…
The End~

Quote of the Day

Sometimes the most Godly thing you can do for yourself is to go to sleep.

{sigh}

This is me...







getting this...







Woo (ouch) hoo!

Yet Another

The church that I posted about last week, I believe, is going for "community outreach." Their new sign currently reads, "!Hola"

Amen

This is an actual posting on a church sign near my house:

Next Sunday

Chillin' & Grillin'

in da park

Fa Shizzle

Ouch

This is the actual size of the HORSE pills I am now taking for my dear friend, Ulcer.

{............}

I'm not choking. I mean joking.

:)

And boy, I SURE do love my husband!

Ohh Baby!

I don't generally go for Tom Cruise, but this pic is pretty good lookin'!

I Want My Pillow :(

Please can I go to sleep? Please, please, PLEASE can I go back to bed?

Wa Hoo!

Today is my sister's BIRTHDAY!

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Christy!

Happy birthday to YOU!

Taking Charge

I missed it. The best holiday all year. It was this past Sunday.

It was National Name Yourself Day.

So I'm going to celebrate it today. Here is my new name:

Georgia Lola Grey Clementine Dalzell

Name Yourself Day is your chance to give yourself whatever name you'd like...for a day. If you like your name, then change your name for just today. If you don't like your name, use today to select a new name for life!

Participating in Name Yourself Day is simple and easy. Go ahead, give it a try. Change your first, or middle, or last name. Or, change them all. Give yourself a cool and catchy nickname. Once you've selected your name, you've gotta communicate it to all of your family and friends. This could prove to be the hard part. It will likely take time for your new name to catch on.

What is your new name?

National Siblings Day

Today is National Siblings Day!
Blessed be to my dear and wonderful siblings...
love, love, love

A Poem

Antonio, Antonio

Antonio, Antonio, was tired of living alonio.
So he though he would woo
Miss Lissa-meeloo
Miss Lissa-meeloocy Malonio.

Antonio, Antonio, hopped on his polo ponio
and he found the fair maid
in a bowery shade
a-sittin' a knittin' alonio.

Antonio, Antonio said, "If you'll be my ownio,
I'll love you true
and I'll buy for you
an icery-creamery conio."

"Oh, nonio, Antonio! You're far too bleak and bonio.
And all that I wish
you singular fish
is that you would quickly be gonio."

Antonio, Antonio, rode off on his polo ponio,
and he went and hid,
or I'm told that he did,
in the Antarctica zonio.

Friday Quotes

Research tells us that fourteen out of any ten individuals like chocolate. ~Sandra Boynton

When are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage. ~Practical Magic

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. ~Gwyneth Paltrow

Ha Ha Ha

MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME A MOOD RING THE OTHER DAY. WHEN I'M IN A GOOD MOOD IT TURNS GREEN. WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD, IT LEAVES A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD.

My Favorite Candy

I've decided I really like gummy bears. They are such friendly creatures, and so yummy.
Here's one of the little guys on vacation.
He's waiving hi - he just can't raise his arm.

Let's See...

Today is National Tell A Lie Day.

In other news, I'm pregnant! We've been trying for a couple months, and the sparkle in our eye is finally a reality. I'm due Nov. 4th. Also, I'm legally changing my name to Lola. I've always liked that name.

Peace out.

Holy "It's a Fruit Salad Tree" Cow!

Check it out! It's a friggin' FRUIT SALAD TREE! And it's real!

http://www.gardenerschoice.net/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=53

Take a Walk in the Park Day

When : Always March 30th

Don't miss out on " Take a Walk in the Park Day." It is an opportunity for exercise and relaxation. Are you stressed out? A walk in the park is just what the doctor ordered. Its calming and therapeutic.

Taken after a busy work day, it helps clear your mind and re-energize you.
Or, take the walk during lunch and you will find the afternoon of work goes by quicker and easier.

A walk in the park will likely be the most enjoyable part of your day. However, make sure to do so with a clear mind and with your eyes open. In addition to avoiding a fall, open eyes will allow you to take in the beauty of nature's wonders: flowers, and trees, birds, and wildlife.

Aahh, what a joyful and soothing day this is filled with the beauty of nature!

I choose here:

Apology

I'm SORRY! I know I haven't posted in two days, but my tummy hurts :(

Come Josephine, In My Flying Machine

Today is National Joe Day.

National Joe Day is a chance to change your name, if only for today.

Many people do not like their given name. They wish they could change it. A few actually do. On National Joe Day, it is perfectly okay to have everyone call you "Joe". Why Joe, and not Bob or Mike or Radcliffe? Simply, because everyone likes the name Joe. If you are called Joe today, we know that you're "Joe cool"!

This works well for the men out there. What about the ladies? We suggest you choose Josephine or Jody.

So today, I can live my dream of having the name Josephine. It's my favorite.

I won't answer to anything else.

It's Friday!

Can I go home now?

Are you a Liberal, Conservative or ...a Southerner?

(Courtesy of Rosie)

Here is a little test that will help you decide........

Question:You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes on you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a clu and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he would be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! ! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative's Answer:......BANG!

Southerner's Answer:BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

One Small Difference

Just one small difference between my old job and new. Here is a brochure I found in my mailbox today...

JERRY SPRINGER - The Opera

PARTY

to watch the London National Theater production

Music by Richard Thomas, book & lyrics by Stewart Lee and Richard Thomas

Saturday, April 1, 2006, 7:00 PM.

(Curtain Time 8:00 PM. Late-comers will be seated.)

Dr. S's House {Our Dept. Chair}

Address

Drinks provided;

bring suitable finger food, party food or munchies

(This is NOT an April Fools joke. The opera and the party are for real!)

Warning: "Contains very strong language and strong sex references" and

"Parental Guidance: Explicit Lyrics."

The characters include Jerry, Steve, Peaches, Baby Jane, Chucky, Satan, Jesus,

Eve, Adam, Mary, God, an angel and an archangel.

This opera probably isn't suitable for everyone.

A Holiday Like No Other

Today is National Goof Off Day!

Go ahead...

Goof off!

You have my permission.

Snow

The weatherman said to keep an eye out for snow this afternoon. Yeah, yeah, I know it's March, but SNOW! Here's a little diddy I wrote on the subject:

I love the sound of falling snow,
the whispering...
a constant sound,
hearing each individual snowflake land
saying HEY! Did you miss me?
I'm back from my long long journey,
here to make your morning beautiful.
Not quite a spring rain
not quite a summer wind
close your eyes
breathe in deep
It's saying Merry Christmas melissa
I'm falling just for you
(it's snowing!)

12-22-04 MD

Quote-Worthy

One of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite artists, Brian Andreas...

"My favorite thing is the wind, she said, & my second favorite is chocolate but I just do that so I don't get too skinny & blow away"

Odd

I've realized that if you take the middle staircase in my building, there are 24 steps. If you take either side staircase, there are only 23 steps. I'm feeling a little unbalanced...

Monday

Good morning. Happy Monday...sigh.

Funny Funny!

I hate to say it, but it's pretty much true...

My Tummy Hurts

There are some things "re-burped" that are not so bad...

*burp* oooh - buffalo wings!
*burp* chocolate cake - yum!

Not so with broccoli cheese soup :(

Let's Celebrate!

Today math-lovers all around the world are celebrating National Pie Day (pie as in 3.14...today is 3-14...)

My vote is let's celebrate this joyus day and make it National "Pie" Day (as in cherry, apple, rhubarb...)

Ala mode, of course.

Blue skies smiling at me,
Nothing but blue skies do I see.

Bluebirds singin' a song,
Nothing but blue birds all day long.

La la . . . la la la la . . . la la la la la . . . la la la

Sleepy Sleepy

So last night was C-R-A-Z-Y at work! Things were rolling along smoothly, and the finish line was in sight. We were about to close when I noticed the lobby area getting a bit congested. Turns out, a high school baseball team decided to come eat at Cheddars before calling it a night. Party of 40. 15 minutes before closing. What a blast, I tell ya. But the good news! I headed home at midnight (ouch), and counted my earnings (keep in mind that Wednesday night I made it out of there with 15, count it 15 dollars in my pocket.) I made $77 dollars last night! That'll make a late evening worth it, huh? I was pretty stoked about it (Did I just use the word "stoked?" What am I , 13???)
So, yeah, there's my fun (yet profitable) evening! And I still got a load of laundry done when I got home. Go me!

It's the Little Things That Count

I know he's just a little penguin, but he's got such a belief in himself! I wish I could be like that...

Today is a good day. Why is it a good day, you ask? Well, it's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday! And on Fridays I get to wear jeans to work.

But this Friday is special, you see. I'm headed back to Abilene. I get to see a huge chunk of family this weekend. And the icing on the cake? I get to eat at JOE'S!!! My favorite pizza ever. And speaking of food, I also get to have AM donuts (the best you'll ever have. I'll even dare to say they are better than Krispy Kreme!)

My grandparents are also giving me a set of dishes this weekend, one they've had for as long as I can remember, and one I have always wanted! I mean, new dishes!

AND!!! Can there even be an AND after all this great stuff? Yes! AND it's beautiful outside! The sun is shining, cool breeze - no dirt blowing in - just gorgeous!

Well, hot damn! It's almost lunch time. Can this day get ANY better?!

Beaten

This afternoon, while I was walking back from lunch, I was attacked. Brutally beaten. Pounded upon. It came out of no where. Didn't even see it coming.

It was a west Texas wind storm. It carried enough sand to fill a desert. It scored my bare legs, blew into my mouth, gritted my eyes, filled my lungs. What a terrible, tragic experience.

I Think I Can!

100% Heartbroken

I'm devestated. Absolutely heartbroken.

Travis and Sarah broke up.

{sob}


http://www.thetennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060307/ENTERTAINMENT12/603070351

My Wish List for Today

Sanity
Peace
Sanity
Patience
Sanity
Calm
Sanity
Energy
Sanity
Enthusiasm
Did I say sanity?

Deep breath, Melissa, deep breath...

LIGHTNING BUGS

What is the deal with lightning bugs? I mean, here is this rather ordinary looking flying insect, but wait ... it has a glow-in-the-dark rear end! What was God thinking? I'm sure science has all kinds of explanations about how this fluorescent fanny is useful for mating and other stuff, but why did God choose to make the lightning bug glow? I wonder if when God was creating all the animals and everything around us, he came up with the idea of the lightning bug and said, "The kids are gonna love this."

We know that God loves us enough to create all the things we need to survive, but does God loves us so much He created some things just to make us smile? Just seeing lightning bugs takes me back to those warm summer nights of my youth. I'd be running around the back yard with my empty Mason jar, racing toward the flashing lights all around me. I can still feel the joy and hear the laughter echoing through my memories. Lightning bugs were as much a part of summer as fireworks, fresh tomatoes, and big ice-cold slabs of juicy watermelon. (I also have a theory of why God created watermelon seeds the perfect size to spit, but that is another story.)

God created so much diversity in this world, much more than is needed for mere survival. He made all of this for us, and He wants us to enjoy it. We can get so busy surrounding ourselves with man-made goods that we don't notice the living tapestry God has laid out all around us. I guess lightning bugs do have a purpose after all. They are a reminder of a creative God who loves us so much, He'd even paint the rear end of a bug ... just to see us smile....

Author Unknown

:)

One of my favorites...

One of My Favorites

i carry your heart with me • ee cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yummy!

So last night at work was crazy! It was dead for quite a while, and then we got slammed! I didn't realize why until I saw a lot of people coming in the ash-drawn crosses on their forehead (I forgot it was Ash Wednesday until then.) So it was coming on 11:00 pm, and we still had so much to do. All of a sudden, in walks the manager with two hot pizzas and garlic bread! So we got to have an impromptu pizza party on the boss, at a time when we were all starving and frazzled. What a great end to the night!

YEAH!!!

My favorite verse of Patty Griffin, who I get to see in April:

"May you dream you are dreaming in a warm soft bed
And may the voices inside you that fill you with dread
Make the sounds of thousands of angels instead
Tonight where you might be laying your head
I wish you well"

I can’t wait!!!

Happy Happy Joy Joy :(

My last comment was negative, so I'll throw in a few of my favorite Garfield comics. Poor little ball of yarn...just wants to play...

Here's how I feel today:

BLAH!

(notice the color, as well. That's part of the deal.)

A Very First...

So this morning I woke up with my very first...frappachino hangover. I went to Starbucks yesterday afternoon and got a frozen Grande Mocha Frappachino (which was REALLY good, by the way.)

So I was going on with my afternoon, and on into my evening waitressing, and noticed as the evening progressed, I was moving faster and faster, and my heartrate was going higher and higher. I was in a REALLY good mood! (BTW, good mood + mocha frappachino = bad a-- tips!)

Anyways, about 8:15 last night my blood sugar just plummetted, and I got really faint and dizzy. After half a grilled cheese, I was a bit better. I woke up this morning with a roaring headache, not unlike a hangover.

Let me tell you, I think they must have slipped a little "summthin summthin" in my Frappachino!

Mmm

One positive thing about working at a state school:
They uphold the rules of break time (15 minutes in the am, 15 in the pm.)
And don't I just love my afternoon Starbuck's run...

Itnreitensg...

Can you read this?

Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

MASH!

I found a website where you can play MASH! Remember way back when? Oh, the memories...married to Marky Mark, living in a shack...with 6 children...{sigh}

www.playmash.com

Here is what I got:

You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a Navy Acura.
You will marry Brad Pitt and have 0 kids.
You will be a Statistician in North Carolina.

Ha ha ha - watch out, Angelina!

Just a Spoonful of Sugar...

Oh, the joys of insurance...(I'm at the doctor's office, insurance-cardless, needing my info in order to see the doctor.)

Me: Hi, I have a question.

Them: Yes?

Me: I don't have my insurance card with me. Would you be able to tell me my Group number and my ID number?

Them: If you'll remember, you can go onto the insurance website and print off a temporary ID card.

Me: Well, I didn't know that. But since I'm at the doctor's office right now, would you be able to access my information?

Them: {rattles off Group number}

Me: Do you have my ID number as well?

Them: No.

Me: Do you know how I might find that?

Them: You can call BCBS.

Me: Do you by chance have their 800 number?

Them: {rattles off 7-digit number}

Me: Now is that 8-0-0?

Them: Yes.

Me: So I just call and they'll give me my ID number?

Them: Yes.

Me: Okay, thank you for your help.


Dials insurance...punches 1...punches 3...sits on hold...sits on hold...sits on hold...

Insurance Answering message: We will be closed Friday, Feb. 17 through Monday, Feb. 20. Please call back tomorrow.

Me: @#%$!

Look in wallet...why, looky-there! It's my insurance card...

Poop.

Just another in the long line of crap

Here is a line in a country song I heard the other day (I'm not lying):

"She left a note on the table saying, Well, here's a box of crayons. Now you can color me gone."

Barf.

Fun Facts to Know & Tell

Here is an interesting fact I learned today:

Hot Tamales have pear juice in them. Who knew?!

Best Commercial Ever!

Share Video at DropShots.com

Happy Valentine's Day to Me!

Here was how my Valentine's Day evening was supposed to go:

Leave 1st work at 5 pm.
Truck it to 2nd work at 5:30 pm.
Check board at work to see what section I'm in, hoping for a good one.
Work 2nd work until 10:30+ pm.
Come home hungry, tired and grouchy.
Go to bed.


Here is how my Valentine's Day evening actually turned out:

Leave 1st work at 5 pm.
Truck it to 2nd work at 5:30 pm.
Check board at work to see what section I'm in, hoping for a good one.
Don't see name on board.
Check schedule, see name on schedule.
Have co-workers tell me to go home, too many people came in.
Ask manager, who sends me home.
Stop by store, get steaks and other goodies for yummy dinner.
Eat fabulous dinner with hubby.
End evening with Ghiradeli double-chocolate brownie and ice cream.
Leave dishes in sink.
Go to bed happy.

Woo Hoo!

My husband brought me flowers to work this morning. They are still sitting on the corner of my desk this afternoon!!

It must be love - MFEO 4-EVER :)

Trip Down Memory Lane

To take a note from my friend Sarah, I thought I would continue on and tell my story of my saddest Valentine's Day I've ever had.

The year was 1988...

So there was this really cute boy in 4th grade (his name was Zach.) Zach was "going with" the most popular girl in our class named Melissa (not me.) Well, right before Valentine's day, Zach and Melissa broke up (que delighted squeals and breathless gasps of joy from every other girl in 4th grade!)

On Valentine's Day morning, one of Zach's best friends comes up to me and gives me a stuffed teddy bear (white & fuzzy, holding a big red heart), saying "Here, this is from Zach. Happy Valentine's Day." I thought I was going to pee on myself! Every girl was looking at me with longing and jealousy (cool!). I proudly set the teddy bear on the corner of my desk for all to see. I was on cloud 9.

For about 1 hour. {sniffle}

Zach's best friend comes back by my desk later that morning, picks up the teddy bear, and says "Sorry - wrong Melissa" and TAKES IT AWAY!

(that sound you hear is my heart shattering into a thousand pieces, all over again.)

Stupid Zach.

{sob}

Grrrr

I had to go to the doctor yesterday, my first trip since my insurance kicked in.
Here is the conversation I had with them yesterday (while sitting in the waiting room):

Them: Benefits, this is so-and-so.

Me: Good morning. I am at the doctor's office right now. My benefits just started Feb. 1st, so I have not received my card ye-

Them: -interrupting- If you will recall in the benefits meeting, this situation was explained.

Me: Yes, I know that, but-

Them: -interrupting again- And as we stated in that meeting, you can look at the Benefits handbook you should have on page 16 to read that it will take 4-6 weeks to receive your insurance card.

Me: Well, first, I didn't know I wouldn't be in the office today, and didn't know I would be visiting the doctor. Therefore, I do not have access to my handbook at this time. Secondly, all I need to know is how much my co-pay is for a doctor's visit.

Them: Oh...well, it's $20.

Me: Thanks, so-and-so. That's all I needed to know.

Ouch!

So I did this crazy thing yesterday...

I donated blood! It was such an odd experience, and a little emotional to boot! They took 1/8 (!) of my blood, and yes, I was a little loopy for quite a while afterwards (not a bad feeling...kind of like having a few drinks, but without the headache afterwards :) But the emotional part, which didn't hit until later last night, was I gave up a part of myself to help save someone else. My blood might be going into someone else's body, flowing through their veins, hopefully helping to save their life...surreal, to say the least.

And the free t-shirt is really cool!

My Favorite Brother

I hear my little brother is on his way to getting hitched...

Congratulation, Ben - you caught a good'n!

(although she's cuter than this catch :)