I Got Lucky Tonight

Not only did I get another Calculus lesson from the Husband tonight, we added in Physics as well. I took a picture so you could learn, too! (Note the time...)

Not So Hot

Being honest with myself (we have to do that occasionally, right?), I don't think I've ever seen a pair of denim jean shorts that look good on a man. Nope. Never. Unless you're five.

I know math, but geez louise!

Commercial:

(Junior-high class, touring an aquarium)

Marine Guy: "We feed our fish 13 and a half pounds of food a day. Who can tell me how much they eat in a week?"

Girl Student: (in less than 2 seconds) "Ninety-four and a half pounds."

Narrator: "That's what we do at the Sylvan Learning Center... "

Okay, I know my basic mathematics, and I sure couldn't do this off the top of my head...in less than two seconds...without a calculator...

Show off.

My Hip Hurts

I don't get it... how come getting a shot of painkillers hurts so badly? Shouldn't they work immediately, so you wouldn't even feel the needle?

sigh...

Overload

three months with no caffeine + one whole (small) cup of espresso = not very good results

(although the gift of freshly brewed Italian espresso was wonderful - thank you for inviting me to join you!)

The Lonely Shoe

There's been something that's been bothering me for quite some time. I mean, I'm pretty upset. Why are there always lone shoes on the side of the street? Not a pair, just one. I mean, how do you lose one shoe? Are they just tossed out? Do they bounce out of a truck bed? Do people choose a favorite and abandon the other?

Do you think, “You know, I believe I did toss my shoe out the window last week. Hmm…was that on 6th Avenue or Main Street?”

There are probably shoes all over the world crying, because they've lost their other half.

I just don't get it.

Poor little lonely shoe.

Artsy-Fartsy

I'm about to leave for a class for "glass fusing." You start with a clear flat piece of glass. Then you start layering colored glass into the design you like. Once that is finished, they melt it in the kiln until the glass "fuses" together" and they pull it out and mold it into the shape you like (bowls, platters, etc.) How cool does that sound? I'll post a picture of my oh-so-fabulous creation when it's finished.

Ode to My Mexican Pizza

Oh, Mexican Pizza, how scrumptious you are.
How cheesy and spicy and crunchy you are.
I wish I could eat you twice every day
(but my thighs, oh, the price they would pay.)

Every now and then, though,
when the mood is just right,
I sit down and sigh,
and take a big bite.

The best part, you know,
you don't want to miss,
They come at the end.
They're called Cinnamon twists.

Oh, Mexican Pizza, how scrumptious you are...

I Must Be Famous

I can't believe I have almost 4000 hits on my blog! (although I won't take a guess as to how many are mine...) If we go with the daily average of 13-15 hits, I should hit 4000 by tomorrow! That's helli-cool (to be said in a high-pitched voice - where is this from?)

I love this bit...

He sort of mumbled, "Yeah, I guess that isn't the best place to talk. Want to go across the street?"

Yes! Yes! Let's go there again, Murray's, that dump with the rotten food, where everybody looks like a corpse and the coffee tastes like antifreeze! Let's sit across from eachother in a cracked booth by the smudged window in the livid light, like we did last week, and talk and talk and talk!

"Yeah, okay," I mumbled back. "If you want to."

~The Saving Graces, by Patricia Gaffney

1...3...5

I've decided that I like odd numbers more than even. Except 17. I don't like the number 17.

This Deserves a Post of It's Own

The Best Part...

See this little unassuming box on the wall?



















Behold, the tresure...



















In our room...on the wall...all-inclusive. Oh yeah.

(Don't worry, Mother - I can't drink liquor straight. I just went down to the bar for a margarita. But such a novel idea, this box. Don't you think?)

We're Back!

And finally, we return (thanks to the fam who posted quotes for me!) A rather short vacation as vacations go, but absolutely wonderful! Here are a few pics...

Our hotel - this pic is where we spent the most time (Riu Caribe - really nice!)















The Ocean (yes, the water really is that color!)















Ocean...again...sigh















We had a happy face floating around our heads all day, every day (and not just from the Corona and Bananas Sexies!)















Funny sign at Margaritaville















I hate to say it, but we gained a bit of weight while we were there...(but don't you think pink is my color??

Quotes for the day

~Be kind to unkind people. It gets to them.

~Whenever someone has done something nice for you, write a thank you note.

~Compliment people as soon as it occurs to you.

~Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

~Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

~Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.

I think the nicest thing about days is their unexpectedness. It's jolly to wake up like this on a golden fine morning and day-dream for 10 minutes before I get up, imagining the heaps of splendid things that may happen that day. ~ Rilla of Ingleside

Happiness is...

"Happiness is a bear hug in the Colorado Rockies"

~ My Grandmother

I'm never going to Wal-Mart again.

Lessons Learned

As I was thinking back on my adolescent and teenage years this morning, I remembered one lesson I learned (the hard way) . . . never use fingernail polish as lipstick.

They're All Mine

I just found something amazing. So unexpected and wonderful, it just brightens up my whole evening. I found...a lone unopened box of Girl Scout cookies in the pantry. What more could a girl ask for?

Booger Diaperjuice

This is serious stuff here.

The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain
Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave
Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names, as
follows:

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a=poopsie
b=lumpy
c=buttercup
d=gidget
e=crusty
f=greasy
g=fluffy
h=cheeseball
i=chim-chim
j=stinky
k=flunky
l=booger
m=pinky
n=zippy
o=goober
p=doofus
q=slimy
r=loopy
s=snotty
t=tulefel
u=dorkey
v=squeezit
w=oprah
x=skipper
y=dinky
z=zsa-zsa.

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
your new last name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of
your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

What is your new name?

Three Times the Fun

So I went to the vending machine today to get a Butterfinger (yeah, yeah, I know. I go with what my body feels like. But if it makes a difference, my body was saying half a bagel and fruit for lunch, so it kind of balances out...)

Anyway, as I put my 85 cents into the machine, I noticed a bag of Sun Chips hanging precariously from the top corner. So I just nudged the machine a tiny bit, and whoops! they fell down (Plucky go down the hole). I then pressed D5, and not only did I get my Butterfinger, I got TWO!

So for 85 cents, I got two buttery crunchity candy bars and a bag of healthy (sure) chips.

Sad, though, that it was the highlight of my day...

And I gained a pound. Stupid vending machine...

Early Musings

How is it that when I get up late, it never fails that I'm ready to leave earlier than the usual?

I don't get it.

I guess I'll get an early start to the day.

Yuck.

???

Daley's Ready to Drink Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri - Freeze and Enjoy!

On the back:
Enjoy at home or on the go.

On the front:
ALCOHOL is in it!

Hmmm.

Vacation # 1

Cinnamon roll for breakfast.
Brother married this afternoon.
Swam in the sun after that.
Cream cheese bacon-wrapped jalepenos on the horizon...
This sure does live up to the name of my blog.
Mmm hmm...

The Whale

If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.
A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her .. a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.
They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.
When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed gently around - she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.
The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.
May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate..... to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

Miss You, Babe

I see the moon, the moon sees me
God bless the moon and God bless me
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love

Over the mountains, over the seas
That's where my heart is longing to be
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love

Barf

Gotta love the white wife-beater with the turquoise sports bra underneath. I just LOVE the "new" 80's style that's coming back in. *rolls eyes*

I Sure Did...

have Ding Dongs for breakfast. They sounded good. So sue me.

How Do They Know These Things?

Overheard at Clay place:

12-year-old girl: "Walker just beats people up."

10-year-old girl: "What's the difference between Walker and McGuyver?"

12-year-old girl: "Well, McGuyver uses his head. Oh, and Walker is older."

So Tired

My dear sweet little kitty has started clawing at the carpet outside our bedroom door every morning at 5:30 a.m. Any suggestions?